It seems to be an ongoing learning curve as how to improve your
relationship with your autistic child.
There is no one right answer, as you know these children are
quite unique and
there may be a range
of different techniques that could assist you and your child.
A few of the challenges that these special children may
experience, include being unable
to express feelings, needs or emotions and some are even
non-verbal.
By connecting with these unique children on a level that
they are functioning at, really can enhance and improve your relationship with
them.
What this means is by connecting to their world, they may
open up to you on a deeper level. Often autistic children have something they
are really passionate or obsessive about such as trains, numbers, reading,
drawing or nature. If you observe your child for a while you will find
something they enjoy. This is a good opportunity of connecting with the
autistic child and getting more access to their world.
They often seem to open as they trust you more and if you
play with them at their favourite activity and listen to them they are often
waiting for us to connect with them.
An example of this was when I worked with June. She was a
grade 2 autistic child I supported as a student support worker. One of her
passions was cats and another was nature. I am also very passionate about cats
and nature.
When I was not supporting her academically, I would share
stories and photos of my two cats. She really loved this connection time and
her face lit up. It was so beautiful.
During recess and lunch I would check in on her to see if
she was socialising with her friends. Quite often when the weather was not
raining she would sit on the grassy hill with a group of her peers from her
class. One time I approached her she was showing her girl friends how to make
daisy chains. I was so touched by this. I sat down beside her and joined in
making daisy chains. I commented about when I was a child I would make daisy
chains and sometimes use yellow butter cups. She was elated that I connected
with her about nature one of her passions. It was such an honour to be able to
connect with her at this level and gain a deeper connection with her.
One thing I love about this special children they are all so
different in their interactions.
Mick another autistic child who was a grade 3 student I
supported at school was a very kinesthetic child. He loved to stroke and hug
you and had a genuine love and concern for others. We were working on making
sure Mick asked permission to touch or hug others .
One morning he approached me in class and asked“ Is it ok to
give you a hug or hold your hand, you look tired.”
I replied “ I am tired, I did not sleep well last night and
feel cranky, thank you for asking yes you may.” He sat down beside me , then
responded in a caring voice
“Sit down, take it easy and take a deep breath in
1,2,3,4,5,”
I said to Mick” Thank you for reminding me to breathe.”
Mick looked at me “ May I rub your arm.”
I replied “ Thank you I would love it.” He began to massage
my arm and the tension began to melt away.
He was a beautiful pure and gentle spirit and a joy to be
around.
The autistic child has much to offer and teach us. Some of
these children may not be as emotionally open. By providing a space and time in
your day spending quality time connecting with them and allowing them to be
accepted and appreciated then can you deepen your connection with them.
If we reach out to them and listen to their stories and
understand their idiosynchronisities, they are more likely to form a
relationship with us.
